“Let me in, Luna.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Take me to @downtowndoghouse to see @baracudajo. Massachusetts has turned my coat into hard scrabble!”
“Kid, that’s where we’re going. Tomorrow you see JoJo.”
“Oh, ok. In that case what are you waiting for? Come in! I’ll ring the Footman.”
May 12, 2021 at 08:52AM
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“Moose fact socks?” sniffed Luna. “Even for the northern realm of Luna’s Lands, they show no taste.”
“There’s-”
“Dare you argue?”
“Lol.”
“Lol hold tongue or I’ll take it.”
“They’re staying on, Kid. I have never had a bad day in moose fact socks.”
“Plebs all around me. Pfft.”
March 16, 2021 at 04:33PM
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“Behold Queen Luna’s Lowell castle until July!”
“You 3rd-person now?”
“Topic! Why don’t these horseless carriages slow for we?”
“This is Massachusetts, the OG bird-flipper at monarchy.”
“Well they are my subjects. They will submit!”
“Speak for we-self, Kid.”
“Silence, Jester!”
March 11, 2021 at 11:54PM
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stationary chevy update: still stationary // month: 32
June 01, 2020 at 05:36PM
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i wake up beautiful can’t help it don’t hate me
May 05, 2020 at 07:26PM
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stationary chevy update: still stationary // month: 31 // slow air leak edition // sidenote: with alternate side rules suspended during lockdown, many cars on the block haven’t moved in the last 2 months, either, so our purple friend is enjoying quarantine company
May 04, 2020 at 11:02AM
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stationary chevy update: still stationary // month: 30 // time stand still edition
March 31, 2020 at 05:12PM
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“Knock, knock!” Luna piped up.
“Ok, Kid,” I asked w/ slight trepidation. “Who’s there?”
“Virus!”
“Virus who?”
“Virus nobody kissing me today?”
March 26, 2020 at 04:50PM
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“Eye sez ta da guy, ‘If Eye gave yooz five hundred tree months ago, and den yooz turn around and sayta me, ‘Eye canz only give ya faw becuz a dis virus,’ den Eye’m gonna tell-yuz, ‘Dat’s not how it works. Period. Enda story.’”
#SidewalkSnippet
March 12, 2020 at 05:12PM
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‪“You know I was always thinking this bull would turn into a bear because of old Donnie-Boy, so I’ve been holding onto my shorts. Hoo boy, have I been wrong! But now looks like I’m gonna be right. This virus’s gonna make me a killing…”‬
‪#sidewalksnippet ‬
March 11, 2020 at 06:46PM
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“Mommy mommy there’s a m-m-monster in the wooods got black eyes and a black nose and it wants to EAT ME!!!!”
“Oh, Jasper, that’s just a cute little AAAAAH-“
March 10, 2020 at 08:59PM
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“Still, there’s no harm in putting a full stop to one’s disagreeable thoughts by looking at a mark on the wall.” // Virginia Woolf (1921)

So, on paper, to my quirky ears, quarantine always sounded worthwhile, every once in a while, pandemic shmandenic.
March 06, 2020 at 06:42PM
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stationary chevy update: still stationary [“wub dub” valentine’s day edition] // month: 28
February 15, 2020 at 10:07AM
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say “tiny terrier atop a toppled tree” 10x fast
February 12, 2020 at 02:54PM
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“Why is nature so squishy?!” Luna cried, shaking a wet leaf off her paw. “Sgreamhail!”
“Aw, it’s just Earth reminiscing about its childhood of primordial goo.”
“Well, it’s cold, wet, mushy, ew, ew, EW!”
“But you’re an animal-“
“Domesticated animal! Just like you.”
“Fair enough.”
February 11, 2020 at 02:53PM
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carpe doggem
February 04, 2020 at 10:23AM
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“Are there really dogs in NYC who get out more than some people?” Luna wondered.
“Sad,” I said, “but true.”
“Are those the people who watch daytime TV news?”
“Perhaps. For some, TV is a best friend.”
“Get a dog!”
“Some do.”
“Oh man,” she sighed. “Let’s keep going.”
“Sure, Kid.”

stationary chevy update: still stationary [nyc january morning sun angle edition] // month: 27
January 24, 2020 at 04:34PM
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Can you imagine us / Years from today / Sharing a park bench quietly?
– Paul Simon (1968)
January 23, 2020 at 11:19AM
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