Year: 2011

Dream #3: Austin

A year ago I was in Austin for xmas/new year and wrote this on the plane rides there and back. In the track, six bigfancy city characters dream of escaping to Austin. A couple of them do and stay. It’s that kind of place.

“Tonight I’m leaving this big city and all its bullsh*t,
Where my friends have to clear their names
And the snow has to clear itself.
I want to drive all night with some music loud,
Fly away on a song,
Hold you in my arms and get to a place
Where nothing goes wrong.

There’s magic in this crazy world that’s sometimes hard to see
And there’s times I drift away in an Austin dream.”

“I got resolutions to get myself out of this dirty town
B/c the snow is all turnin’ black while all the trains melt down.
I don’t want you wondering just how long it’s been
Since it’s been you
Taking that lakefront road, taking every risk
Just to feel something new

There’s magic in this mad mad mad world you see
Drifting away in an Austin dream.”

“I think they like us there because we’re from far away.”
“That’s why we’re always welcome back
And why we really shouldn’t stay.”
“We got a three-day drive through desert nights
And a couple thousand songs,
But we’re gonna write one more and get one more night
Where nothing goes wrong.”

“There’s magic in this crazy world you just need to believe
That you can live and breathe and die inside a dream.

You see I found myself in Austin that new years eve,
And now I find myself in Austin almost every time I dream.”

The Foodies #sickpitches

Camille Lutece, a culinary school grad, can’t land a job and becomes private chef to a lottery-winning, catfish-handfishing ozark mountain family. She “refines” them, teaching them knife skills and how to respect a lady. Turns out they brought her there to give them an edge in the FoodSportsChannel (FSC) World Catfish Catch and Fry Championships. In the end, she brings home the title with Jessie’s hand caught beauties.

Camille to Jessie, the lottery-winning mountain family patriarch: “Does the noodling hurt your hand?”
Jessie, the patriarch: “Only if the catfish sneezes.”

Hoosiers + Eat Pray Love + Deliverance

The Monday Crew #sickpitches

Jess, 26-yr old African American lesbian (tattoos, too) from Bed-Stuy, and James, her 31 yr-old African-American neighbor (straight as a whistle), end up manning a Viennese sausage parlour in a nearby gentrifying Brooklyn neighborhood every Monday night.

Do Or Die #sickpitches

Judge sentences 24 youth gone astray to a reality show on an island off the coast of Georgia called “Do Or Die” where only 1 supposedly will get out alive.

gritty antoine fuqua / melvin van peebles feel…

Lord of the Flies + The Corner + Survivor

Quadruple Spice Brown Butter Oatmeal Crackie

by request of @yoginicuisine

The perfect crackie will be caramelized and crunchy on the bottom and sides, but soft in the middle and slightly craggy on top. If using water, crackies will be thinner and crunchier, but should still have a slight chewiness due to the xtra sugar content (this is essentially a brown sugar cookie w/added white sugar and spice).

Sadness Seeps Outward #VerticalLife

from a letter to the Condo Board from a block of frustrated owners…

Nothing (including the leaks, the busted trash bins, the constant assessments, the strollers in the lobby, the lawsuits, etc…) has done more to destroy the day-to-day enjoyment of our Units than living underneath, next to and above the {REDACTED} family.

The children rarely leave the apartment, and the apartment’s rugless rooms amplify the tricycles, marbles, bouncing balls and running from 6a to midnight. Through the ceilings, walls, vents and hallways, we hear every googly noise Mr. and Mrs. {REDACTED} make with their babbies, which is whatevs, but we also hear every screaming violent spousal fight they have with each other and every kid’s tantrum (and the fights and tantrums far outnumber the googly noises). Also, when Mr. {REDACTED} is home, he spends most of his time on his rear balcony shirtless and in his boxers (in full view of everyone in the back of our and our neighbors’ buildings), either yelling in an Eastern European language into his cellphone or sawing and hammering one of his many unfinished DIY projects his wife rolls her eyes at.

We are at our breaking point, but we are also afraid of Mr. {REDACTED} and implore the Board to confront his family’s sense of entitlement and disregard for neighbors. We understand that he was verbally abusive to and threatened one of our management company’s cleaning personnel on suspicion of vandalizing his stroller that he leaves 24/7 in the Condo’s lobby. We also therefore demand, especially in light of this recent abuse of the cleaning rep, the Board orders the {REDACTED} family to stop commandeering hallway and lobby space for the permanent storage of their personal belongings.

We know this may come off as a #WhiteWhine, because there are bigger problems in the world than the peaceful co-habitation within our Condo.



01 June 2011

Always In The Sky
What Friends Were
Eff It Up
Everything Blue
Idle Words
Just Like Midnight
Dream #3: Austin
Beautiful Blur
Such Great Heights