Month: March 2004

Stop, Drop & Unzip

A girl’s pants caught fire on the E train yesterday. This quote killed me:

“She was wearing the strangest pants,” the [booth attendant] said, describing the jeans as similar in appearance to chaps that a cowboy might wear. “What she was wearing, she had to catch on fire,” said the clerk, who declined to give her name.

Reminded me of this, from Safe Men:

Good Stuff Leo: I once sold a woman a pair of exploding slacks.

– late night


Lobsters frozen at 40-degrees below zero re-animate when thawed right. This means lobsters can be frozen, shipped anywhere, and then re-sold as live (at live market rates!) when they come back to life.

In related news, Captain Kidd Fish ‘n Chips plans first CryoLobsterFest(tm) promotion this Summer.

HAROLD Hamilton, come over here. What is that you’ve got on?
BRAD This is how I dress all the time.
HAROLD But you took off your Captain Kidd uniform.
BRAD I thought I’d take it off for the drive over to IBM. It’s kind of uncomfortable.
HAROLD Come on, Hamilton! You’re going over there to represent Captain Kidd Fish ‘n Chips. We have stores all over Southern California. Part of our image, part of our appeal is in our uniforms. You know that!
BRAD You really want me to put all this stuff back on?
HAROLD Yes. I think so. Show some pride, Hamilton.

– noon