Tag Archives: luna stories


[img] 20190928.1042

“It’s weirdo,” Luna fronted.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“You’re Westy.”
“Yeah?”
“And I’m a Westie.”
“Yeah?”
“That’s like if you’re Fern and your one plant is a fern.”
“First, I was Westy way before you got here. Also, they’re not even spelled the same.”
“Excuses, excuses. Still weirdo.”
September 28, 2019 at 10:42AM
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[img] 20190924.1814

“I thought they outlawed plastic straws here,” Luna averred.
“Those aren’t straws,” I said. “They’re PVC gas mains.”
“That’s a straw!” she shot back in her best Daniel Plainview voice, with loud slurps. “I. Drink. Your! Milkshake! I DRINK IT UP!”
“When did you-”
“I will eat you!”
September 24, 2019 at 06:14PM
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[img] “Hey look I’m Aqualung!”

“Hey look I’m Aqualung!” Luna piped up, & sang, “🎵Sitting on a park bench!”
“You’re kinda the anti-Aqualung,” I said. “You couldn’t eye anyone with bad intent if you tried.”
“But my paws are greasy! And watch!” She blew a loogie out her nose.
“Ok, you’re Aqualung. Can we go?”
August 06, 2019 at 05:36PM
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[img] “Look! The Brapps…”

“Look! The Brapps are training little Tanner to potty outside like me!” Luna exhorted with optimism.
“You sure it’s not just a stoop giveaway?” I asked.
She sniffed between the lid and seat. “Well if so, it would give new meaning to the phrase ‘free shit!'”
“This city,” I sighed.
August 05, 2019 at 06:51PM
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[img] Upcycled

“It’s a TinyKit,” Luna exclaimed, “for teenies like me!”
“Some things really shouldn’t be recycled, Luna,” I intoned.
“But it’s more of an upcycle, not a recycle,” she cocked her head.
“Upcycle, eh?”
“Yeah! Upcycled in your-”
“Enough. Let’s go.”
August 03, 2019 at 07:17PM
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[img] Randy Newman’s Satire

“I love LA!” Luna declared.
“You’ve never been-”
“Shut up! Like you’d know!”
“Uh, hello…?” I pulled a poop bag from my pocket.
“Rrrr. New York’s cold & damp & everyone dresses like monkeys. I love LA!”
“You know Randy Newman’s satire, yes?”
“Yeah, & his attire isn’t monkey!”
July 30, 2019 at 10:27AM
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[img] conservatory bound

“Do you think they tossed it because the kid’s a musical disappointment?” Luna queried.
“C’mon,” I shook my head. “Not everyone’s Conservatory bound.”
She turned and taunted at a parlor window. “What’s the matter, can only play in C? Can’t handle 3/4 time?!”
“OK, let’s go.”
July 19, 2019 at 04:09PM
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[img] “hey, asshat”

“Hey, asshat,” Luna piqued, “why am I wet?”
“My app said no rain for a couple hours, but this cell-”
“So get a new app, asshat.”
“Where did you learn that word?”
“From you,” she gazed off, “the asshat.”
Voice Over: “Remember, people who say asshat have dogs who say asshat.”
July 18, 2019 at 05:15PM
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[dispatch] stationary chevy update 20190715.1717

full story at medium


[img] “So what’s your Super Bowl pick?”

“So what’s your Super Bowl pick?” I asked Luna.
“Ooh, the macro one at M Café in LA on Melrose? Well, king salmon and-“
“No, football,” I shook my head.
“Well, I like Man City over Arsenal-“
“American football.”
“Oh. The Saints. Duh.”
February 03, 2019 at 06:21PM
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