Luna pointed up at a bare ginkgo tree. “Bet you didn’t know in spring, ginkgoes scarf all their leaves and stems-”
“Scar.”
“Whatev, dude. They scarf all their leaves in, like, 1 day. Then in the 1st hard frost, they upchuck them all at once.”
“Bonnie Botany, ladies & gentlemen.”
November 10, 2019 at 11:53AM
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“No way,” Luna pouted. “Bugs are for frogs.”
“Maybe evolve?” I said. “Too much meat is mean.”
“You know what’s mean? Why an onion makes you cry!”
“Do tell.”
“The sulfur in the air warns of murder. It’s screaming!”
“Stop-”
“You stop, you… allium assassin!”
“Ok-”
“Kale killer!”
October 28, 2019 at 04:57PM
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“Give it a quarter!” Luna lit up. “Make it happen!”
“It actually says ‘free,’” I said.
“Even better!”
October 22, 2019 at 01:43PM
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Lady & the Marquis on sentry
October 21, 2019 at 05:36PM
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“It’s weirdo,” Luna fronted.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“You’re Westy.”
“Yeah?”
“And I’m a Westie.”
“Yeah?”
“That’s like if you’re Fern and your one plant is a fern.”
“First, I was Westy way before you got here. Also, they’re not even spelled the same.”
“Excuses, excuses. Still weirdo.”
September 28, 2019 at 10:42AM
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Posted in img, Luna, Luna Talks, nstgrm, words
Tagged img, luna, luna stories, luna talks, meta, nstgrm, self-reflection, westie, words
“I thought they outlawed plastic straws here,” Luna averred.
“Those aren’t straws,” I said. “They’re PVC gas mains.”
“That’s a straw!” she shot back in her best Daniel Plainview voice, with loud slurps. “I. Drink. Your! Milkshake! I DRINK IT UP!”
“When did you-”
“I will eat you!”
September 24, 2019 at 06:14PM
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Posted in img, Luna Talks, nstgrm, nyc, words
Tagged climate change, construction, Daniel Plainview, img, luna, luna stories, luna talks, national grid, nstgrm, nyc, plastic, there will be blood
So look see the days / The endless coloured ways / And go play the game that you learnt / From the morning. [Nick Drake]
September 18, 2019 at 12:49PM
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Posted in img, Luna, nstgrm, prospect park
Tagged img, luna, nick drake, nstgrm, prospect park
“Look at it!” Luna wailed. “Is there any context left where human waste is out of context?!”
“That’s deep, Kid.”
“Eventually there’ll just be a tiny Pacific Ocean Patch somewhere in The Pacific Waterfill!”
I sighed. “Aren’t you supposed to fetch sticks or something?”
September 10, 2019 at 05:54PM
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Posted in dogs, img, Luna, Luna Talks, nstgrm, prospect park
Tagged climate change, luna, luna talks, nstgrm, plastic, prospect park
“Hey look I’m Aqualung!” Luna piped up, & sang, “🎵Sitting on a park bench!”
“You’re kinda the anti-Aqualung,” I said. “You couldn’t eye anyone with bad intent if you tried.”
“But my paws are greasy! And watch!” She blew a loogie out her nose.
“Ok, you’re Aqualung. Can we go?”
August 06, 2019 at 05:36PM
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Posted in img, Luna, Luna Talks, nstgrm, prospect park
Tagged aqualung, jethro tull, luna, luna stories, luna talks, nstgrm, prospect park, snot, words
“Look! The Brapps are training little Tanner to potty outside like me!” Luna exhorted with optimism.
“You sure it’s not just a stoop giveaway?” I asked.
She sniffed between the lid and seat. “Well if so, it would give new meaning to the phrase ‘free shit!'”
“This city,” I sighed.
August 05, 2019 at 06:51PM
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Posted in img, Luna, Luna Talks, nstgrm, nyc
Tagged luna, luna stories, luna talks, nstgrm, park slope, potty training, stoop, Tanner Brapp, toilet, words
“It’s a TinyKit,” Luna exclaimed, “for teenies like me!”
“Some things really shouldn’t be recycled, Luna,” I intoned.
“But it’s more of an upcycle, not a recycle,” she cocked her head.
“Upcycle, eh?”
“Yeah! Upcycled in your-”
“Enough. Let’s go.”
August 03, 2019 at 07:17PM
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Posted in img, Luna Talks, nstgrm
Tagged img, luna, luna stories, luna talks, nstgrm, park slope, reusable douches, tinykit, words
If you don’t like Huey Lewis, we’ll still be friends. But never will we spend Friday night watching The Kentucky Fried Movie on a twice-copied glitchy VHS, and never then sneak into the country club down the road to make out on the edge of the sand trap on the dogleg par 4 11th.
August 02, 2019 at 02:57PM
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Tagged Huey Lewis, Kentucky Fried Movie, luna, nstgrm, sand traps, VHS, vinylz, words
“I love LA!” Luna declared.
“You’ve never been-”
“Shut up! Like you’d know!”
“Uh, hello…?” I pulled a poop bag from my pocket.
“Rrrr. New York’s cold & damp & everyone dresses like monkeys. I love LA!”
“You know Randy Newman’s satire, yes?”
“Yeah, & his attire isn’t monkey!”
July 30, 2019 at 10:27AM
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Posted in dogs, img, Luna, Luna Talks, nstgrm
Tagged los angeles, luna, luna stories, luna talks, new york city, nstgrm, Randy Newman, vinylz, words
it hot
July 21, 2019 at 04:40PM
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Posted in dogs, img, Luna, nstgrm, prospect park
Tagged dogs, heat waves, luna, nstgrm, prospect park, summer
“Do you think they tossed it because the kid’s a musical disappointment?” Luna queried.
“C’mon,” I shook my head. “Not everyone’s Conservatory bound.”
She turned and taunted at a parlor window. “What’s the matter, can only play in C? Can’t handle 3/4 time?!”
“OK, let’s go.”
July 19, 2019 at 04:09PM
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Posted in dogs, img, Luna, Luna Talks, nstgrm, nyc
Tagged img, luna, luna stories, luna talks, nstgrm, park slope, Sibelius
“Hey, asshat,” Luna piqued, “why am I wet?”
“My app said no rain for a couple hours, but this cell-”
“So get a new app, asshat.”
“Where did you learn that word?”
“From you,” she gazed off, “the asshat.”
Voice Over: “Remember, people who say asshat have dogs who say asshat.”
July 18, 2019 at 05:15PM
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Posted in img, Luna, Luna Talks, nstgrm, nyc
Tagged apps, asshats, img, luna, luna stories, luna talks, nstgrm, rain, weather apps
10-inch LPs are the puppies of records. // The Clash – “Black Market Clash” (1980)
July 17, 2019 at 05:08PM
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Andy Summers didn’t know a puppy could sleep to his + Robert Fripp’s “I Advance Masked” (1982), but described “a synthesis of 2 guys who grew up playing guitar, heard the Beatles, listened to jazz, got influenced by Oriental music and Steve Reich, but still play rock.”
July 16, 2019 at 07:13PM
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Tagged andy summers, luna, nstgrm, robert fripp, vinylz
