“That sign’s so Shamu!” Luna laughed.
“The Sea World whale?” I asked.
“No, silly, the existential guy.”
“Camus?”
“Don’t get uppity. Not everyone speaks French!”
“Ok, so like No Exit?”
“Yeah, except in this one, 3 whales are trapped in a backyard pool-”
“Man, you are-”
“No, dog I am.”
November 26, 2019 at 10:36AM
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“So that woman we passed just said the clouds are… ‘breaking up?’ Luna queried.
“Yeah, they’re done with the rain.”
“Good. Dump that wet blanket,” she nodded emphatic. “They should date the sun.”
“Sun’s committed to the moon.”
“They hardly see each other. It’ll never last.”
November 24, 2019 at 05:18PM
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“She who sitteth on the Stone of Destiny shall be Queen of all she surveys!” Luna proclaimed.
“You know the Stone of Scone’s in Scotland, yes?”
“Saoghail!” she snarled. “Traitor!”
“Stop-”
“Courtiers, take this man. Then off with his head!”
“Ok, Khaleesi. Mark it and move on.”
November 21, 2019 at 04:05PM
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Capping off an xclnt day. Thx to @unpostoitaliano for reopening today and the perfect torta della nonna. Coincidence is a form of fate.
November 20, 2019 at 09:59PM
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stationary chevy update: still stationary // second anniversary purple car purple coat morning moon edition
November 15, 2019 at 12:51PM
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“Forget Mexico!” Luna declared. “Build a wall to the sky at Canada!”
“What the-?” I said.
“It’s frickin’ freezing! The wall can let people in, just keep the wind out!”
“C’mon-”
“Alexa said a ‘Canadian front’ caused this. Send the wind back!”
“Let’s go. You’re frostbitten.”
November 13, 2019 at 05:06PM
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Luna pointed up at a bare ginkgo tree. “Bet you didn’t know in spring, ginkgoes scarf all their leaves and stems-”
“Scar.”
“Whatev, dude. They scarf all their leaves in, like, 1 day. Then in the 1st hard frost, they upchuck them all at once.”
“Bonnie Botany, ladies & gentlemen.”
November 10, 2019 at 11:53AM
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“No way,” Luna pouted. “Bugs are for frogs.”
“Maybe evolve?” I said. “Too much meat is mean.”
“You know what’s mean? Why an onion makes you cry!”
“Do tell.”
“The sulfur in the air warns of murder. It’s screaming!”
“Stop-”
“You stop, you… allium assassin!”
“Ok-”
“Kale killer!”
October 28, 2019 at 04:57PM
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“Give it a quarter!” Luna lit up. “Make it happen!”
“It actually says ‘free,’” I said.
“Even better!”
October 22, 2019 at 01:43PM
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Lady & the Marquis on sentry
October 21, 2019 at 05:36PM
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“It’s weirdo,” Luna fronted.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“You’re Westy.”
“Yeah?”
“And I’m a Westie.”
“Yeah?”
“That’s like if you’re Fern and your one plant is a fern.”
“First, I was Westy way before you got here. Also, they’re not even spelled the same.”
“Excuses, excuses. Still weirdo.”
September 28, 2019 at 10:42AM
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Posted in img, Luna, Luna Talks, nstgrm, words
Tagged img, luna, luna stories, luna talks, meta, nstgrm, self-reflection, westie, words
“I thought they outlawed plastic straws here,” Luna averred.
“Those aren’t straws,” I said. “They’re PVC gas mains.”
“That’s a straw!” she shot back in her best Daniel Plainview voice, with loud slurps. “I. Drink. Your! Milkshake! I DRINK IT UP!”
“When did you-”
“I will eat you!”
September 24, 2019 at 06:14PM
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Posted in img, Luna Talks, nstgrm, nyc, words
Tagged climate change, construction, Daniel Plainview, img, luna, luna stories, luna talks, national grid, nstgrm, nyc, plastic, there will be blood
So look see the days / The endless coloured ways / And go play the game that you learnt / From the morning. [Nick Drake]
September 18, 2019 at 12:49PM
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Posted in img, Luna, nstgrm, prospect park
Tagged img, luna, nick drake, nstgrm, prospect park
“Look at it!” Luna wailed. “Is there any context left where human waste is out of context?!”
“That’s deep, Kid.”
“Eventually there’ll just be a tiny Pacific Ocean Patch somewhere in The Pacific Waterfill!”
I sighed. “Aren’t you supposed to fetch sticks or something?”
September 10, 2019 at 05:54PM
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Posted in dogs, img, Luna, Luna Talks, nstgrm, prospect park
Tagged climate change, luna, luna talks, nstgrm, plastic, prospect park
“Hey look I’m Aqualung!” Luna piped up, & sang, “🎵Sitting on a park bench!”
“You’re kinda the anti-Aqualung,” I said. “You couldn’t eye anyone with bad intent if you tried.”
“But my paws are greasy! And watch!” She blew a loogie out her nose.
“Ok, you’re Aqualung. Can we go?”
August 06, 2019 at 05:36PM
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Posted in img, Luna, Luna Talks, nstgrm, prospect park
Tagged aqualung, jethro tull, luna, luna stories, luna talks, nstgrm, prospect park, snot, words
“Look! The Brapps are training little Tanner to potty outside like me!” Luna exhorted with optimism.
“You sure it’s not just a stoop giveaway?” I asked.
She sniffed between the lid and seat. “Well if so, it would give new meaning to the phrase ‘free shit!'”
“This city,” I sighed.
August 05, 2019 at 06:51PM
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Posted in img, Luna, Luna Talks, nstgrm, nyc
Tagged luna, luna stories, luna talks, nstgrm, park slope, potty training, stoop, Tanner Brapp, toilet, words
“It’s a TinyKit,” Luna exclaimed, “for teenies like me!”
“Some things really shouldn’t be recycled, Luna,” I intoned.
“But it’s more of an upcycle, not a recycle,” she cocked her head.
“Upcycle, eh?”
“Yeah! Upcycled in your-”
“Enough. Let’s go.”
August 03, 2019 at 07:17PM
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Posted in img, Luna Talks, nstgrm
Tagged img, luna, luna stories, luna talks, nstgrm, park slope, reusable douches, tinykit, words
If you don’t like Huey Lewis, we’ll still be friends. But never will we spend Friday night watching The Kentucky Fried Movie on a twice-copied glitchy VHS, and never then sneak into the country club down the road to make out on the edge of the sand trap on the dogleg par 4 11th.
August 02, 2019 at 02:57PM
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Tagged Huey Lewis, Kentucky Fried Movie, luna, nstgrm, sand traps, VHS, vinylz, words
