[dream journal] 102616

Sitting in an old theater – Ziegfield-esque, worn red velvet seats, dilapidated condition. I’m fifteen rows up, center. Woman behind me leans in and says, “Isn’t this the worst film ever?”

“I haven’t really watched it yet,” I say to her without turning around. I hear her lean back into her seat and turn my attention to the screen.

The film is called “Toaster Test” and stars Kevin Spacey as an everyday shlub named Herb and Hugh Grant as The Devil. While making breakfast one morning, Herb sees The Devil materialize the reflection of his toaster. In the course of their interaction, The Devil shows Herb how he’ll die in a motorcycle accident.

Cut to black.

Fade in on lobby of a fancy hotel with huge circular banquettes arranged around tall, endlessly high columns at regular intervals around the room. The Devil lowers himself slowly from the ceiling haze and settles on a banquette next to Herb.

“Hey, Herb,” he says, low and slow in Herb’s ear.


[img] hey, monday

hey, monday
October 24, 2016 at 03:02PM
via instagram

[dispatch] human/error 102416.1457

October 24, 2016 at 02:57PM

[img] sterling saturday stranglers spin

sterling saturday stranglers spin
October 22, 2016 at 01:57PM
via instagram

[aired] wrestling dreams

Moving use of a few of my ambient tracks by filmmaker Kenny Johnson in Wrestle Donst Wrestle (imdb), a 2015 documentary about independent professional (Absolute Intense Wrestling (AIW)) wrestler Tim Donst‘s battle to return to the ring.

Upon A Child’s Doll Reflection,” “Truth Is A Lonely Place,” and “Space Walk” (all Disquiet Junto projects, btw) well up at critical times in the film. No spoilers, of course, but the poignancy and melody they lend their respective scenes affirmed all the reasons I started writing ambient wordless work in earnest a few years ago.

Professional wrestling cuts a deep, diverse and cross-generational swath through America (the WWE represents only a glossy major-label equivalency), threading across many eras with stories of soaring courage, unabashed victory, gritted determination and dream-shattering heartbreak. The 2008 film The Wrestler with Mickey Rourke touched on these themes and conveyed a raw just-below-the-surface look at someone akin to Donst. Aside from that film, I knew almost nothing of Donst’s indie wrestling world as I hit the play button here. Now I can’t imagine our world without his.

Life outside the mainstream too often is marginalized to appear frivolous or inconsequential – struggles too “real” for popular consumption, perhaps. I feel a kindred spirit with Donst. In the way he wakes conscious with wrestling moves in his head, I wake thinking only of writing music. DNA isn’t just physical – it’s also spiritual. The moment you tap into what makes you you, life starts.

YouTube liner notes

Published on Aug 16, 2015
In February 2015, Tim Donst told the independent wrestling world that his in ring career was possibly over. He had a tumor in his right kidney. His future was uncertain.

In this documentary, Donst reflects back on his career, his passion for wrestling, thoughts on death, talking with Mick Foley, and the road to recovery.

But was his career really over? Would he ever set foot in a wrestling ever again as an active competitor? Find out as he goes back to AIW (Absolute Intense Wrestling) and is confronted by the King of Ultra Violence Nick Gage.

***Twitter Plugs***
The Director Kenny Johnson – https://twitter.com/kenjohnson1028
Tim Donst – https://twitter.com/tdonst
Absolute Intense Wrestling – https://twitter.com/aiwrestling
Nick Gage – https://twitter.com/thekingnickgage
Eric Ryan – https://twitter.com/Ericryanpro/media
Greg Excellent – https://twitter.com/GregExcellent

Special thank to CZW, Chikara, and Mick Foley.


Upon A Child’s Doll Reflection

Truth Is A Lonely Place

Space Walk

[dispatch] d0.0v3r 211016.1757


[img] facing fall

facing fall
October 16, 2016 at 11:57AM
via instagram

[img] hey, fall

hey, fall
October 10, 2016 at 12:25PM
via instagram

[img] log off, thursday

log off, thursday
October 06, 2016 at 12:36PM
via instagram

[img] street art / arf

street art / arf
October 05, 2016 at 06:04PM
via instagram

[img] underground platform

underground platform
October 03, 2016 at 03:50PM
via instagram

[track] wake up time

Sing a song for life in the morning
As the sunrise waltzes through leaves
Let all the anger and pain
And destructive refrains
Dissolve into your dreams

Maybe we’ll wake up
It’s time we wake up
Maybe we’ll wake up
Wake up time

The first thing you see before you open your eyes
Is the truest reflection of you
One day the first thing we’ll know
is a sunrise so slow
And a world renewed


My 66th(!) junto contribution was written and recorded on Monday evening 26 Sep 2016 while watching the 1st 2016 US Presidential debate (on mute, CSPAN only) with the project photograph (goo.gl/djQ31Y) in my field of vision on an iPad and a few glasses of Russian River Valley Pinot Noir in my bloodstream. This may be the most normie crossover americana country pop track EVER posted to the Junto, but I’ve embraced that side lately, perhaps as a contrarian move to a deep dive into the dark web and anonymity in the last year (as well as being the caretaker of a terminally ill dog).

Acoustic and electric rhythm guitars and vocals are organic. Drums, bass, Hammond B3, pedal steel, and horn parts are built from samples looped in Acid (total ~60 tracks through 11 busses). If you think there’s more than one human involved in this, I’ve done my job.

> 3/4 waltz + rock, 148 bpm.
> there are 27 figures in the graphic and the first verse has 27 words. couldn’t hold myself to that in the 2nd verse, but all’s forgiven.
> mostly a back-door tribute to Tony Rice’s version of A Song For Life, but not slavish in its ape.

Enjoy life, fellow Junto-ers. Embrace melody and structure every once in a while. There’s magic (and sanity) in the way a fifth and a third can play with each other.

Our world is fucked from here on forward, but fuck it.



More on this 247th weekly Disquiet Junto project — “Interpret as a graphic score an illustration drawn upon waking by Lark Pien” — at:

More on the Disquiet Junto at:

Subscribe to project announcements here:

Project discussion takes place on llllllll.co:

There’s also on a Junto Slack. Send your email address to twitter.com/disquiet for Slack inclusion.

Image associated with this project is the (unintended, but used with approval) graphic score by Lark Pien.

[img] “…the world we know is constructed in order to see itself.” – G. Spencer Brown

“…the world we know is constructed in order to see itself.” – G. Spencer Brown
September 22, 2016 at 09:12AM
via instagram

[img] w473r’5 3d63 dr34m

w473r’5 3d63 dr34m
September 20, 2016 at 11:43AM
via instagram

[aired] chasing an acting dream

Sandro Intervju from Oliver der Nederlanden on Vimeo.

Chasing Flight soundtracks an introspective interview with Swedish actor Sandro Khafor, shot by Oliver der Nederlanden and Magnus Lindkvist. Wish I knew Swedish, but the word for actor, skådespelare, is a sharp looking one.

source track:

[img] “There are days / she said / the sunlight through the trees / feels like my own creation.” (Fire Town)

“There are days / she said / the sunlight through the trees / feels like my own creation.” (Fire Town)
September 16, 2016 at 08:57AM
via instagram

[img] Hoje, vamos ouvir o silêncio do amor… com Luiz Bonfa, Oscar Castro Neves, e Lalo Schifrin

Hoje, vamos ouvir o silêncio do amor… com Luiz Bonfa, Oscar Castro Neves, e Lalo Schifrin
September 13, 2016 at 12:57PM
via instagram

[img] Holland Tunnel approach / 20160911.0949

Holland Tunnel approach / 20160911.0949
September 11, 2016 at 12:26PM
via instagram

[track] the other side of the end

a sunny trip thru simulation theory, alan watts, and the watercourse way.

all the dreams have been blamed
all the sources have been named
there’s no hiding in the shadows anymore
all the ‘steins have been ‘stained
all the acid has been rained
there’s no overriding the code

we’re on the other side of the end
with no trace no chance to defend
the true meaning of our being, friends
on the other side of the end

the simulation reset
everyone’s free to forget
all the ways we used to agree
and the lines of least resistance
destroyed by destroying
all the ways water courses to the sea

easy to miss when everything’s not right
the signs can hide in plain sight


[dispatch] future thoughts 09082016.1105

September 08, 2016 at 11:05AM